On Thursday night I tucked my girls in bed, kissed them goodnight, and then went to my bedroom and started packing. I could hardly sleep that night, all I could think about was leaving. And then suddenly I was up, walking out the door before anyone else even cracked an eyeball.
To say I was happy at that moment would be a complete understatement. I was thrilled. No. I was overjoyed.
I. WAS. FREE.
It was only for two nights, but I was free. No, of course I wasn't just getting up and abandoning my family (although I'd be lying if I didn't admit to considering that during one or two 3 am wakeup calls) - I was just going on a girl's trip. A weekend away, just me and my best gals.
Three days, 2 nights, no kids. No ear infections. No macaroni and cheese. No tiny plastic toys to murder the soles of my feet. No snot on my shoulders.
What did I get? Hours and hours of amazing conversation. A beautiful massage. A LOT of margaritas. To sleep in a bed all by myself, all night long.
And I got to miss my family. I missed every single thing about them. Even the snot. I missed the big hugs and the toothy grins and hearing the word "mommy" over and over and over again. I missed living room picnics and after-dinner dance parties. I missed those sweet little faces so hard.
I needed that time. It's no secret that being a mom is hard. Really hard. Someone, two little ones in my case, just needs you all of the time. And while being needed is wonderful, it can also be intensely difficult for mind and body. Around my house I joke that my kids are sucking the life out of me, but in a way it's true. Focusing on someone else's needs all of the time means I neglect my own, and that's not always okay. I needed to take care of myself.
So yes, I said goodbye, and I got up and left. But I came back relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to be a better mom. Sometimes, you just gotta get the hell out. But I'll always come back.